Kampai and Tomo-chan have teamed up to bully poor 801-chan into an interview…..

[Tomo-chan] So, 801-chan, you are a fox right (and she means it literally)? So how come you play with cat litter all the time.

[801-chan] Umm…. somebody has got to do it, might as well be me. No seriously, I played around with cat litter in my former life, but I really don’t like to talk about it. Too many bad memories. Yaoi is much more stimulating and arousing than catnip! Meow!

[Kampai] So what is your criteria in choosing books for 801?

[801-chan] Hot guys, steamy action and a little bit of bondage never hurts.

[Tomo-chan] So then what is your favorite 801 title so far?

[801-chan] Definitely, Love is Like a Hurricane. You know the part with the tail? That is classic. Classic!

[Kampai] Well, what do you think about tentacle sex?

[801-chan] Is it consensual?

[Kampai] I don’t think there is such a thing as consensual tentacle sex, so let’s just say non-consenual for now.

[801-chan] I am a strong believer in “no means no.” So I am going to have to say eh on the tentacle sex unless it is totally hot!

[Tomo-chan] So what do you think about me and Kampai? We are the greatest, aren’t we?

[801-chan] Eh, is that a trick question? I think Tomo-chan is totally freakin awesome. She is my best friend you know. Kampai….. well, Kampai is the instigator you see. So she is always getting me in trouble. And occasionally she smells like alcohol. Other than, she is cool people.

[Kampai] Well, you do drive me to drink 801-chan, but on with the questions. So a lot of people have asked what your job is. And you haven’t really given anyone a really good answer. So… what do you do around here?

[801-chan] Ummm…….. I provide direction? Maybe…. No seriously, I am President so I boss people all day. Make unreasonable demands. Whine and pout when I don’t get my way. Oh, and read tons of yaoi manga in order to pick the best titles for 801.

[Tomo-chan] Are you a seme or an uke?

[801-chan] I think I am a seme with uke tendencies. I definitely have the personality of a seme. (I tend to scare people a lot.) But when it comes down to it, I would probably be on the bottom. So I don’t know what that really makes me.
[Kampai] No 801-chan, I think you are an uke that wishes they were a seme.

[Tomo-chan] So 801-chan when do we want to get together with our boyfriends? *evil intentions* And what do you want to do with them?

[801-chan] Actually Tomo-chan, I think they are cheating on us. And not with other girls, but…but… with each other!!!! Ahhh!!! Can you believe it? I say them down the street not too long ago, wanna go watch?

*801-chan and Tomo-chan exit stage right, leaving Kampai holding the tape recorder…*

And that concludes our employee spotlights! Hopefully 801-chan’s interview will be picked up on some new broadcast. It would be sad if Tomo-chan and Kampai got all the fame when really it is 801-chan who runs the show. *lol*

Check back later, if we get really bored we might have some guest interviews with our forum participants and a few of the DMP employees. (They are a little intimidated by us, but maybe we can get a foursome going with a bunch of the guys from over there. *evil laugh*)

*Note: Tomo-chan, the carnivore that she is, wouldn’t stop eating to participate in this interview. So please excuse the food crumbs and the blatant disregard to some of the questions.*

[801-chan] So Tomo-chan, Kampai’s interview actually got picked up on a bunch of new sites. Think yours will be just as popular?

[Tomo-chan] No, because I am eating right now. Plus, people like to hear Kampai because she is annoying and whiny. *chomp* *chomp*

[801-chan] Based on your name, aren’t you supposed to be 801-chan’s friend? Lately, I have noticed you running around with Kampai on the forums and playing nasty tricks on poor, innocent, cute and lovable 801-chan…

[Tomo-chan] No, 801-chan is still my best friend. But Kampai needs a lot of loving too. 801-chan is “special” so she needs a lot of help.

[801-chan] Hmm…. I don’t think I am going ask what you mean by special. I am afraid I won’t like the answer. Back to the interview, do you consider yourself a seme or an uke?

[Tomo-chan] A reversible seme, but for the most part a seme. (I know the guys are scared of me. But they are scared of 801-chan too, so blah!)

[801-chan] So what do you do that makes the guys tremble in fear at the sight of you?

[Tomo-chan] I team up with 801-chan and Kampai, then I start bossing them around while threatening them with acts of bodily harm.

[801-chan] What a minute, don’t include me in your acts of terror.

[Tomo-chan] Whatever, remember that time that lady was double parking in the parking lot. You offered to hold her down, while I kicked her and Kampai egged her car!

[801-chan] Ahhhh!!!!! Don’t go telling people strange stories like that. Okay, seriously how do you enjoy being 801’s webslave?

[Tomo-chan] Hey I am not a slave! I am the web master! There is a difference. If anyone is a web”slave” it would have to be BoyzRule. *lol* Actually it is pretty fun being the webmaster. I had a lot of fun working on the 801 store. Unfortunately due to 801-chan’s oversight, it can’t be launched yet! *burp* Excuse me that went down wrong.
[801-chan] Umm… moving right along…. What’s your favorite 801 book?

[Tomo-chan] Bond(z) because piercing the dudes *bleep* was just totally freakin’ awesome!

[801-chan] Okay, I think that wraps things up, any last minute comments or words for the fans?

[Tomo-chan] I’m 1337 I pwn 801-chan! *wan* *wan*
[801-chan] Umm…. Tomo-chan, you are a dork and so is anyone that gets that joke…

Thanks for joining us for our second employee spotlight! Coming up next is 801-chan interviewed by 801-chan? Hmm… we might have to think of something else for that one..

801-chan aka “801 Mafia Don”

I am bored! *lol* So to pass the time, I decided to start the 801 employee spotlights. First up is our production manager Kampai! *applause*
[801-chan] Do you consider yourself an uke or a seme?

[Kampai] Seme!!!!

[801-chan] Do you tell people what you really do for a living?

[Kampai] No!

[801-chan] You know, there really isn’t anything to be ashamed of…

[Kampai] I have given up, cuz most people just say, “Oh, you make gay porn!”

[801-chan] I can see where that would get old… What is your favorite 801 book?

[Kampai] Sky Over My Testicles..err Spectacles….(hehee)

[801-chan] Is that the one you were reading when you injured yourself in the bathroom the other day?

[Kampai] No! That was My Paranoid Next Door Neighbor

[801-chan] Did that exchange just violate our sexual harassment policy?

[Kampai] Not according to the 801 employee handbook, but I will have double check on that one and get back to you.

[801-chan] So in your opinion, what exactly does 801-chan do? The readers keep asking…

[Kampai] She bosses everyone around and keeps changing her mind about everything!! She is an uke who thinks she is a seme. We tend to humor her so she will shut up.

[801-chan] Umm… thanks Kampai… I will keep that in mind when I do your end of year evaluation.

Well, thanks Kampai for taking time out of your busy day to sit for an interview. Next week we will take on the great Tomo-chan! Oh, wait. Scratch that, let’s do 801-chan instead… Actually, maybe Tomo-chan would be a better victim…err subject. Hmm… just check back next week….

801-chan

*lol* Tomo-chan has been having way toooo much fun posting on the forums, so the 801 Media Inc store will launch a little later than we had previously planned…

But don’t worry, we will be extending our pre-order special!

*801-chan*